Toki Tover Dot Com

When I finally engraved this into my mind, not too long ago, my frustrations and let downs seem to dissipate…

Seriously… you, your business or your needs DO NOT matter…

So, how are you going to match conversation that happening inside your prospects head with what you have to offer?

The more you can understand what’s going on inside your prospects head, the more you can understand what motivates them, what drives them, what are their beliefs, what are their emotions, what’s happening in their life — the easier it is to match what you have to offer.

It is really that important to take a firm understanding of what I am talking about because what I am talking about will ultimately lead you to being at the point in your “awareness” where you’re not focusing on your own needs.

Where no longer do your needs matter.  They don’t!  Your needs don’t matter!

And when you really come to that “awareness” where… what it is you thought and what you need doesn’t matter, then you’re actually fully able to focus on the needs and wants of who you’re talking to.  You’re really able to truly focus on just building a relationship with this person, getting to know this person.  But if you’ve got all these needs and wants, and got all this stuff going on inside of you, you can’t even see… and you’re just focused on “I’ve got to get this person in my business!”, or “I’ve got to get this person on my conference roster…” — “I gotta’ get him, I gotta’ get him…” — you’re only focused on your needs and wants.

I’m getting this feeling right now that I have to say something else about this.  And really quick–what allows us to not focus on our own needs and wants is when we are actually satisfied.

When we are actually satisfied.

And there’s this paradigm in the human race right now where we think that our satisfaction comes from the simple fact of us getting something.  Meaning if we get something, we’re satisfied.  “What’s that new car I want?  Oooh, I get that car, and I’m satisfied.”  “Oooh, all I want is some big new house and I’m satisfied.”  “All I want is to not have to go to work tomorrow and I’m satisfied.”

And this “getting” comes in two forms… comes from you getting something… and comes from you getting rid of something you don’t want.  That job you hate?  “Oooh, if I can only get rid of this job, then I’ll be happy.”  “If I can only get this new thing I want, then I’ll be happy.”  And I think one of the major things that caused a growth–a whole paradigm shift in growth for me–was when I realized that my satisfaction in life was not going to come from the “getting” or acquisition of anything.

My satisfaction in life was not going to come from the acquisition of anything.  It was also not going to come when I got rid of something that I didn’t like.  When I got rid of something that made me uncomfortable.  My true satisfaction wasn’t going to come just from me getting rid of something, or acquiring something.  Because what I learned is that both of those things are completely… temporary.  They’re so temporary.

If you find your satisfaction in life from things that are just temporary… these small, fleeting things, like the feeling you get when you buy something new, or the feeling you get when you hit it big in the stock market, or the feeling you get from watching a movie (as great as that is) — it’s temporary!  It will be gone in a moment of time.  And then what’s left, you feel like you need something else!  You feel like you need something else, and we do this in our relationships:  when our satisfaction comes from our partner–they make us feel fulfilled.  Guess what happens when they’re gone, and guess what happens when they’re not acting the way we want them to act towards us?

We’re unsatisfied.

When we buy that new car, guess what happens in two years when it’s not new anymore?  We’re unsatisfied, and we need something new.  And there was this huge epiphany when I realized that satisfaction didn’t come from anything outside of me… it really came from within me.  That when I found… how to put this… that when I really found myself… when I really found love… when I found joy…  Call it ‘enlightenment’ — that word that you may have heard here or there that has all these connotations to it…  When I found this, and I realized that it came from within myself, all of a sudden I was satisfied.

I was satisfied.

I didn’t need anything else.  It didn’t matter if I had the new car, or I didn’t.  It didn’t matter if I got this thing, or I didn’t get this thing.  Because I was satisfied either way.  No matter what happened, I was satisfied.  Why was I satisfied?  Because I had myself.  And that is where my entire life changed.  That is when my entire life changed… right then, and right there.  And from that place, I was able to do so much more.  From that place, I was just so much more… efficient at everything I did because I was detached.

Because all of a sudden, it wasn’t about my wants and needs, because — yeah, do I still have wants and needs?  Of course.  Do I still have goals and visions?  Of course.  Do I still have things I want to do?  Of course.  Do I still have income goals I wanna hit?  Of course.  But regardless of whether or not I get any of those, I’m satisfied anyway.  And that’s what makes us more powerful.

So when we come from that place right there, then you’re truly able to focus on the wants and needs of your prospects.  Because it’s not about you anymore.  You’re happy anyway!  Whether that person joins you or not… oh, well.  You’re happy anyway, because you’re already satisfied.  So I think that it’s so key to get that…

Learn that and you are golden.